Bella's Revenge
by twilght lover122
Summary: Edwards out hunting again so Alice decides to give Bella a makeover. What happens when Bella ends up looking like a clown? How will she get her revenge?R&R please
1. Chapter 1

"Bella!!" Someone screamed from upstairs.

Shit. Alice, crap probley another Barbie Bella attempt for her to make me look "extraordinary". What was wrong with the way I look now? Besides Gossip Girl had just started and I wanted to watch that since Edward was gone hunting. Every time I tried to get him to watch it with me he said something about losing his "manliness" and Emmett torturing him for the of his existence.

She had been doing this every time Edward had gone hunting so he couldn't save me. I swear even Rosalie has started feeling sorry for me but no one could save me. Esme just gave me a sorry look, Carlisle would escape to the hospital, Emmett would laugh his ass off till Rosalie smacked him, and Jasper would do a poor attempt to try to calm me down. But, unfortunately it was becoming a routine. Alice would yell for me to go upstairs cause she was bored and said that I looked horrible. I would argue, then she would give me the puppy eyes and tell me Edward would love to see me all pretty. I, eventually would agree and she would do her little victory dance while I starred at the clock waiting for Edward to save me.

Today was no different but I was so tired I didn't even want to put up a fight with Alice so I dragged my feet upstairs to Alice's room.

"Okay Alice, screw the tradition. Just make it quick, got it?" I told her.

She jumped up and down like a child getting a new toy.

"Hey don't make me regret it!" I threatened and she immediately stopped.

"Gosh, Bella you are _so pushy! Relax you act like I'm about to shoot you!"_

_I was about to say I'd rather she did then Rosalie walked in. I nodded my head in greeting as she took her usual spot on Alice's bed. She gave me that 'I'm sorry, but Alice will be Alice' look then picked up a magazine off the table and began flipping through it. I always hated Alice's little makeovers but I have to admit, ever since she stared me and Rosalie had a little bonding time. Well it was more like she giving me a sorry look and me just nodding. Then her turning to a magazine and flipping though it. I remember how she used to hate me, if she felt anything for me now it would probley be sorrow._

_I sighed and closed my eyes waiting for her to start. Alice being Alice started right away taking advantage of the situation before I had time to change my mind. I didn't pay attention and imagined Edward was here with me, if only I hadn't insisted that he take a hunting trip with Carlisle. All of a sudden I heard high pitched giggling and opened my eyes to see Alice going into hysterics._

_I wondered what was so funny, surely I hadn't said anything out loud. Had I? Maybe it was just a vision she had. I gave her a puzzling look that only made her laugh harder. Okay awkward. This was getting a little_

_strange._

_I turned and looked at Rosalie who looked infuriated by something. Hmm, I wonder what her problem was. I gave her the same puzzled look I had given Alice and she took a deep breath. _

"_Bella, stay calm. just don't do anything that you will regret later." She said slowly._

_I guess my face showed my confusion because she spoke again,_

"_Bella look in the mirror." _

_I shrugged and turned towards Alice's full size mirror, after I saw myself I let out a blood curling scream _

_Oh. My. Fucking. Carlisle. I was a clown. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry it took so long to update guys. First my computer crashed and I had to rewrite, then I got grounded from my computer, then I had some distractions including summer school and at the YMCA(really hot life guard) but anyways here it is. Review! **

**Sorry I forgot the disclaimer last time but here it is:**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing inside of the wonderful world of Twilight I just make the characters torture each other.**

I let out another blood curling scream and Alice stopped laughing and turned to me.

"What was that for? You already screamed!"

I ignored her and got right to it.

"What the hell Alice? I thought you were going to give me a makeover, not get me ready for a new job...AT THE CIRCUS!!" I yelled at her.

That made her go into another round of laughter. I glared at her until she got control over herself.

Rosalie got up off Alice's bed and walked towards me still with that pissed off look on her face. I wondered what she was going to do and why she was so mad. Once she had reached me she set her hand lightly, but firmly on my shoulder.

"Its okay Bella, calm down and I'll handle this." She spoke quietly and quickly then walked up to Alice.

"WTF ALICE?! I thought we had an agreement! Now poor Bella has to suffer!" She yelled at Alice.

Damn, I wonder what Alice did to piss off Rosalie. Wait, more importantly why was Rosalie protecting me?

I turned to see Alice's expression and to my surprise she gave an evil grin.

"Actually, Rosie dear our deal was that I would never do that to a vampire ever again. And last time I checked Bella is still human." She said sweetly.

Hmmm, agreement? I'd have to get Edward to explain to me later. I turned my attention back to Rosalie who was glaring at Alice.

All of a sudden I heard booming laughter and turned to see Emmett rolling around on the floor cracking up. Crap. I had forgotten all about the rest of the Cullen family and Edward. I grimaced when I thought about what his expression might be. Surely he wouldn't laugh at me would he?

Emmett got up off the floor, still laughing and turned to me.

"Is that how your trying to get Edward to sleep with you Bella?" He asked trying to contain his laughter and failed miserably.

I turned tomato red and looked down before muttering "shut up, Emmett."

He just laughed harder then stopped. I mean it was weirddddd, one second he's making fun of me and cracking up, and the next he stops. I looked u to see what had happened and almost started laughing. Emmett had that scared look in his eyes and Rosalie kept on whacking the back of his head over and over again. I guess after Emmett had finally processed that Rose was hitting him he through his hands over his head and tred talking his way out if it.

"Rosie, baby what's wrong?" He asked in a whiny voice.

Gosh he could be so whiny at times! How could Rosalie put up with this?

"Shut up Emmett! Can't you see this was Alice's fault? And for once could you stop making fun of Bella?" She yelled.

Wow the look on his face was priceless, I wish I brought my camera. But I was pretty surprised myself, this was the second time Rosalie was defending me today. Maybe she feels bad for me, but the way she had talked to Alice and Emmett it was almost as if...it was from experience.

All of a sudden we hear the door open and Carlisle yell, "we're home!"

Uh-oh. Edward was back.

**Haha cliffy. sorry just couldn't resist. Review my dearists!Oh yeah I'd like to thank JadeStern and CourtneyFirehand for the wonderful reviews!TTYL **


	3. Chapter 3

**sorry for not updating guys I was just informed about 2 of my uncles dying and that was really hard to deal with but I hope you guys like this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight I just mess with the characters' brains**

"Bella?" Edwards voice rang through the house as we heard him come up the stairs. 

I shrieked and hid under Alice's bed while Emmett started laughing again. I don't know what Rosalie did but I heard Emmett shriek-yes shriek- and stopped laughing.

I heard movement next to me and turned to see Rose squeeze in under the bed next to me. She turned and looked at me then sighed.

"Umm Bella what the hell are you doing?" Rose asked me.

The question really was why the hell is she down here with me? I didn't say anything after she's been this nice to me I didn't want to ruin it.

"I'm hiding from Edward, what else would I be doing?" I replied.

She gave me that 'I already knew that' look and I continued.

"Do you honestly think he would like to see me like this? Or I would want him to see me like his?"

She rolled her eyes at me. huh very mature Rose.

"Edward always thinks of you as beautiful and will always think of you like that no matter what."

I sighed and rolled out from under the bed and dusted myself off when I got up. Rosalie did the same thing.

"Bella? Are you in here?" Edward called again. Oh well, time to face him. Rosalie gave me a reassuring nod, Alice grinned wickedly, and Emmett got duct tape off Alice's counter and starting taping his mouth shut. humph, smart choice Emmett. 

"Yes I'm in Alice's room Edward." I called out to him even though I knew he could hear me even if I whispered because of his super cool vampire hearing.

I heard Alice's door open and I took a deep breath and looked at Edward. who still hadn't looked at me.

I saw his eyes travel from Alice's evil grin, to Rose's pist off face, to Emmett's duct tape, then finally to my face. All of a sudden he fainted, damn Alice! Wait what the hell? Vampires can't faint, can they? I think Alice, Rose, and Emmett realized that to cause Emmett walked over and slapped him and he jumped up.

"Oh yeah, I can't faint. Hehehe." Edward said then glance at me again.

All of a sudden, he started laughing. At me.

Oh. no. he. didn't. Edward Anthony Mason Cullen just laughed at me. I think I need to go find a rock.

**sorry short chapter! but like I said I'm really sad so don't be mean **

**-Mary **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight I just wish I did.**

When Edward started laughing I came up with my options:

1.I could run out of the room, but knowing my clumsiness it wouldn't be easy.

2.I could yell at Edward, but I bet the sight of a clown yelling at him would probley make him laugh harder.

3.I could punch him but then I would probley brake my hand.

I think Rosalie was the only one to notice the tears in my eyes, because fury invaded her face. She looked up and met my eyes and raised an eyebrow. I nodded and she walked quietly over to Emmett and Edward. Emmett being the idiot that he is, thought she had forgiven him so he smirked and opened his arms up for a hug. Rose just walked right by him swiftly and toward Edward. Edward still hadn't realized what Rose was going to do, so he just kept on laughing, boy was he going to get it now. Rose went and stood right in front of Edward and slapped him. Hard. Hmph, some mind reader he is.

There that seemed to break him out of his trance. Emmett started cracking up again, but there was this thankful look in his eyes that it was Edward and not him. He quickly stopped once Rose gave him that 'you better shut up or your next look' then looked at Edward. He was standing there with his jaw dropped about 7 1/2 inches and his hand was over his face in the spot where Rose had hit him. I rolled my eyes, gosh I love the man to death, but some times he lets his imagination run wild. I mean there was no way that could've hurt him, please. Finally he removed his hand, straitened his back, and turned to glare at Rose.

"What the hell was that for?!" He yelled. Wow I swear I had never heard Edward Cullen say those words before he must be pretty pissed off.

Rose raised an eyebrow and nudged her head in my direction. I watched Edward's expression as he turned his head to look at me. And it was not what I had expected.

Instead of regret, his expression turned into about 50 other things. Amused. Confusion. Glee. Slyness Sorrow... wait sorrow? what the fuck? okay...this was not turning out good. I am so fucking confused right now!

He then turned Alice, wait why Alice? Ok more confusion, but anyways he turned to Alice and said,

"Alice, why is she crying?" OH MY CARLISLE!!

That was certainly the last straw, and not just for me. Rose was fuming, Alice had her face scrunched up like she was thinking about something really hard, Emmett was just staring at him, and Jasper was on the floor cracking up. Wait when did Jasper get here? Oh well, we'll deal with him later. I turned to Edward with a deadly look on my face. Jasper immediately stopped laughing and I heard Emmett mutter "Dude, you are so screwed!" Rose got a smug grin on her face and Alice started glaring at Edward.

I took a step toward Edward.

"Edward. " _Step._

"Anthony." _Step._

"Mason." _Step._

"Cullen." _Step._

I was right in front of him now.

"I'm not going to do anything to you now because Charlie is expecting me at home, but remember Edward. Revenge is a bitch." I said in a low in and deadly voice.

Then I walked out of a room. A room filled with a shocked Edward, a giggling Alice, a smug Rosalie, and two vampires who were laughing so hard you would think there was an earthquake in the Cullen house.

**Sorry for not updating! I've had really bad writers block so I had a good excuse!**

**REVIEW!!**

**-Mary **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey my dearest readers! Ok before you kill me for not updating my excuse is I have to worry about summer school!(Don't worry I'm not stupid I'm trying to be in a higher math class)Well who knew we would have EOI's(end of instruction) tests and finals?! Anyways, good news I've got a beta-Twlight4eternity which is totally awesome! and I promise I'll try to update sooner next time! **

**Disclaimer: Last time I checked the name on my birth certificate it did not say Stephanie Meyer so I do not own the wonderful world of Twilight. **

**Oh and I'll be changing POV's a lot in this chapter so here's who's thoughts belong to whom: **

**Emmett**

_**Rosalie**_

_Alice_

Jasper

BPOV

After I had stalked out of the room and slammed the door shut I began thinking of ways to get revenge on Edward and Alice. Alice I wasn't to sure about, but for Edward I knew the perfect thing. Ha! now it's time to show them to never mess with me again.

I quickly said goodbye to a worried Esme- I think it was because of the evil grin on my face- and a tired Carlisle and walked out the front door. Then I realized something, Alice had driven me here, crap! What the hell was I supposed to do now? I couldn't go back in there. I sat on the front porch and put my head in my hands.

Then I heard the front door open.

EPOV

_(meanwhile)_

After Bella had left the room very angrily, I went over what had just happened. I walked in the door saw Bella looking like a clown, started laughing at the sight of that, got hit in the head by Rosalie afterwards, Bella threw a fit and started crying , then threatened me, and left the room.

Well now I'm even more confused then before so I got to start looking for answers so what place better then the evil minds of my siblings?

**Dude, Edward is not getting any for a long time! I cant believe he doesn't know what he did wrong! **

I turned to glare at Emmett, but he just gave me a goofy grin.

_Hmm, I wonder if Bella knows that is the 24hour long makeup. Oh well she'll just find out-Edward get out of my head!!_

Wow poor Bella if only Edward was a little less stupid and could be able to figure out where he went wrong- no offense Edward sorry. I should probley try to calm down the atmosphere a little now.

I nodded a thanks to Jasper as I suddenly felt calm.

_**Edward is going to pay! So is Alice- oh crap! Bella didn't bring her shitty excuse of a truck! Better give her a ride home. No not you Edward, you just stay here and try to figure out what you didn't do right back there!**_

Ouch harsh! No need to be rude Rosalie. But, I think she's right I'm probley the last person Bella would want to see.__

_**RPOV**_

_**I stalked out of the room-not as fiercely as Bella, but still with enough anger to give Jasper a bad headache-and gracefully, but quickly ran down the stairs.**_

_**I looked around when I got downstairs, trying to figure out if Bella had already left or not. Then I spotted Esme and Carlisle sitting at the table talking quietly. Hmm maybe they could tell me where Bella went. **_

"_**Hey Carlisle, Esme have you guys seen Bella around anywhere?" I asked them.**_

"_**Oh hello Rosalie, as a matter a fact she left a few minutes ago, why?" Esme replied suspiciously.**_

"_**Well she didn't bring her truck and I was going to give her a ride home." I said with an innocent smile. Esme nodded and went back to talking to Carlisle. Ha no one could resist my smile, okay back to finding Bella.**_

_**I walked out the door and found her sitting on the porch with her head in her hands. Well that wasn't so hard, at least she wasn't hitch hiking or doing something stupid like trying to hot wire Edward's car which by the way would be hilarious. When she heard someone coming she quickly jumped up apparently startled. I shook my head and finally decided to speak.**_

"_**Hey Bella I realized that Alice picked you up so I was wondering if you wanted a ride."**_


	6. Chapter 6

**I know you guys must hate me now but I really am sooooooooooo sorry that I couldn't update earlier! I had some pretty hard stuff on my mind. Then Breaking Dawn came out, as you guys know and I had to go camping and blah, blah, blah. I know you don't want to hear my pitiful excuses so on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not or will ever own Twilight, so lay off!**

BPOV

I sat still in Rosalie's BMW as she backed out of the driveway for two reasons. One, I was afraid that if I moved she might notice me there and try to talk to me or yell at me. Two, I was afraid that she might drive as fast as the rest of the Cullen's which is not very good for my present mood. After a minute or two Rosalie sighed and looked at me.

"Bella, a-are you okay? Um you know, about everything? " Rosalie asked gently.

I nodded, but inside I was surprised. Wow, a vampire lost for words that is not something you get to see every day.

"I was just thinking, but thanks you have been very kind to me." Why the hell am I being so formal?

"If you need to talk I'm here for you what's on your mind? And I know we haven't been the greatest of friends, but that can change right?" Her words surprised me, like big time surprise too.

I pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming, or having a nightmare or something, but nope I was still awake. Well, that is certainly something you don't hear everyday!

"Ummmmm, thanks?" Rose chuckled- wait what the hell?! Girls don't chuckle, like guys don't giggle. Well most guys, that reminds me of the time Emmett giggled but then again these two are married so...

"Well I was thinking about how I could get my revenge on Edward and Alice, but I kinda have a good idea already for Edward..."I confessed, and she nodded.

"Could I help?" She asked.

What the hell? Was it national surprise Bella day or something? But then again a vampire and a clumsy human is better than just a clumsy human.

I nodded, "I suppose you could but first you have to answer a few questions for me." Rose's face lit up and she eagerly nodded.

"Well first, why exactly did you get so pissed off at Alice when she gave me the 'makeover'?" I asked her. As soon as I asked she got that 'I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, AND IF YOU FORCE ME I'LL KILL YOU!' look. "I mean if you want to tell me, if you don't I understand-well you know what? Forget I said anything -" I blabbered until she cut me off.

"Bella its fine, that topic just reminds me of my not-so-favorite century that's all." She gave me a weary smile and I nodded weakly. Hey as long as I don't get on her bad side I'm cool with everything, I mean she did kill her fiance and all...

"So...um why were you mad? At Alice, I mean..." I asked.

"Okay, well I don't want to give you all the gruesome details so I'll make it a little less...hmm well disturbing." She said and I nodded waiting for her to go on. "Well as you know or should know, before you there was no one for Alice to 'torture', you know with makeovers and all." I nodded, hmm I never thought about that before. "So I was forced to be her 'victim', usually I didn't really mind these makeovers till one day she crossed the line." Ooooh that must suck! But of course I didn't say that out loud, I'm still afraid Rose will rip off my head.

"So Alice did this," I pointed to my face, "to you?" I asked.

Rose nodded grimly, "more or less, but yes." I nodded.

"You probley want to know what we were talking about when I told her that she swore she wouldn't do it again, right?" I nodded again. "Well, after Alice did that I was _infuriated _so I told her if she did it again I would shred her credit cards...and I would tell everyone including Jasper about... her lesbian years."

**(I was going to end it here but I'll give you guys a little more.)**

RPOV

After I told Bella how I threatened Alice her eyes widened.

"B-but, Alice...Jasper?" She stuttered out, looking confused. I laughed shortly, ooh was Bella in for a treat.

Then I noticed we had reached Bella's house. Aww man, just as I was about to get to the good part. "Well Bella, I'd love to explain to you but we are already at your house. Perhaps another time?"

She looked around outside of the car confused, I think she had completely forgotten that we were inside my car. Humans have a one- track mind what do you expect?

"O-okay. U-um, thanks for... the um... ride and um... everything." She stuttered. Man, how many 'um's' can Bella Swan put in one sentence? As she was getting out of the car she stopped all of a sudden and turned to me.

"Um, Rosalie?" There it is again. "I was wondering if you want to stay the night...like a sleepover?"

**Sorry to end it quickly but I know I said this before but I promise I'll try to update sooner!**

**Review my lovelies!**


	7. sorry author's note

**Sorry for not updating! I know you guys must be pissed off with me but here's the deal-io: My parents "friend" from New Jersey decided to come and visit. That's not the bad part, the bad thing is that she has a 10 year old son. He annoys the living hell out of me! Seriously horrible is an understatement, you guys have no idea what it is to wake up to "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! EWW, EWW, EWW, EWW!" You guys probley are like "well, he must have a good reason?!" Yeah his good reason? He saw a freaking mosquito! Anyways school starts soon so I'll try to update before, if not I'm really sorry. I just don't really like having to write when there's the worlds most annoying 10 year old reading from behind me. So, once again I'm really sorry! I'll update soon!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for not updating in a while but as I said in the Authors note I had lots to deal with so back to the story!**

**Disclaimer: I know I don't own Twilight so on with the story!**

_Previously on Bella's Revenge:_

"_Um, Rosalie?" There it is again. "I was wondering if you want to stay the night...like a sleepover?"_

**BPOV**

Before I knew it the words were out of my mouth, so no denying it there. I looked down out the ground and waited for her to decline. Hopefully, she wouldn't be too mean about it. What the hell was I thinking? I shouldn't have let my big mouth open up! I looked up at Rosalie's perfect face, slightly scared to see her expression. But, to my surprise she was smiling- wait what?! This day is getting even weirder! The Rosalie Hale I know doesn't smile!

"You know what? It sounds like fun, plus it would make Alice so jealous!" She said half joking half serious. She smiled nervously, "so umm, are you going to introduce me to Charlie?" Rose asked. Oh yeah, Charlie I almost forgot about him. By the way I still need to make him dinner...

"Bella? Bella?" Rosalie waved a hand in front of my face and I jumped up startled.

"Sorry, you kind of zoned out and were muttering stuff under your breath." I turned tomato red. Great, NOT! "You know, us vampires have good hearing but no that good." She teased. Once again I turned bright red.

Then I realized we were still sitting inside her car.

"Hey, Rosalie umm, do you want to go inside? I mean, I think Charlie might get a little suspicious if we just stay in front of my house." I said, and she smiled.

"Sure...and Bella?" I stopped trying to take off my damn seatbelt (stupid things won't open!!) and looked at her. "Call me Rose." Then she smiled and gracefully got out of the car.

_Later when they are inside..._

"Um, Ch-dad this is Rosalie Hale." I said as Rose extended her hand to shake Charlie's.

At first he seemed surprised by the coldness of her hand, but shrugged it off and smiled.

"It's nice to meet you Rosalie."

"A pleasure to meet you to Mr. Swan, but please call me Rose." She replied with a small smile.

"Call me Charlie, Mr. Swan makes me feel old." They both laughed.

"Hey dad, is it okay if Rose stays the night?" I asked, cutting in.

"that seems fine with me. Just don't stay up too late girls." He replied winking at us. I glanced at Rose and we both said, "oh, we won't."

_Later in Bella's room..._

"Hey Rosa- sorry Rose, you know since this is supposed to be a sleepover wouldn't Charlie think its weird if you don't wear pajamas? I mean, if you want I have some you can borrow." I told her then immediately felt stupid. Why would she want to wear my crappy raggedy clothes? I expected her to run away screaming, or drain me of my blood or something. But once again, to my utter surprise, she smiled. Oh dear, today is one freaking messed up day!

"Sure, _why_ not? you know what I've never been to an official sleepover so let's make the best of this one!"

"Okay but on one condition..." I trailed off.

She raised an eyebrow.

"Alice's lesbian years...I want details I want them now."

And from that we were about to begin probley one of the _craziest _sleepovers in our lives.

Well let's just hope it's no that crazy.

**Like it? Hate it? post a review and say what's on your mind, gosh that sounds like a cheesy commercial but you get the point, don't you?**

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	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for not updating but, can you say grounded? School is a bitch and the guys are even worse so, I have 2 decent excuses now for another one: NEW SEASON OF GOSSIP GIRL IS FREAKING AWESOME!! oh and I was talking to Ben all weeks long(my new best guy friend I ditched the rest besides this kid named Braden!) . so I'm gonna go on with the story because I'm rambling now... **

**Disclaimer: **

**ME: YES!! I own twilight!**

**EC: um, know you don't**

**me: why must you be so cruel?!**

**EC: because its the truth?**

**me: crap!**

**So, in other words, I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT!!**

_Previously on Bella's revenge..._

_And from that we were about to begin probley one of the craziest sleepovers in our lives. _

_Well let's just hope it's not that crazy._

BPOV

"Okay Rose, spill! I want all the details right now!" I demanded giggling.

Rose chuckled, an- WHOA! I THOUGHT WE MADE IT CLEAR GIRLS DON'T CHUCKLE!- anyways, Rose turned to me with an evil glint in her topaz eyes.

"Well, before we get this party started, why don't we give little Eddie boy a call so he knows that he won't be needed tonight!"

I nodded then began to get a little worried, would he be mad? Well he would have to deal with it won't he? I mean I should be the mad one.

I looked over at Rose who had her phone out and looked at me. I nodded once, letting her know that I was good with her calling.

(**Rosalie speaking: bold underlined****, **_Edward speaking italics_)

"**Hello Eddie-poo."** I tried not to crack up.

"_What do you want Rosalie?!" _Rose had it on speaker so I could hear to, and I swear I have never heard him so mad. Well, maybe except the time that Jake kissed me...

"**Now, now brother dearest. That's no way to speak to a sister, am I right Bella?**" I nodded, then immediately felt stupid when I realized Edward couldn't see me nodding.

"Yeah" I finally said.

"_Bella?_" Edward croaked out. No freaking duh!

"The one and only, what do you want?" I said finding a new splurge of confidence that I have no idea where the hell it came from.

"_Bella I'm s-"_

"**Sorry dearest brother but enough chit chat, me and Bella dearest here have plans. Would you mind telling Esme that I won't be home tonight? Oh Bella won't be needing you tonight, so you and Emmett can keep each other company, chow!"**

And with that she hung up on him and we broke out cracking up.

After we had composed ourselves, we sat cross legged from each other on my bed.

"Okay I think poor Bella has had enough waiting today, now SPILL!"

"Well dearest Bella, do you remember my story about my fiance?" She asked and I nodded.

"Well, when Alice and Jasper came to us, Alice always tried to be such good friends with me. One day though, she asked me how I got changed into a vampire and I told her the whole story like I told you. She knew it was something personal so she wanted to share something personal with me...so she told me about how before Jasper came along, she thought she would never find love. So... she thought maybe being straight wasn't the right thing for her, so for about umm...3 years she went to every lesbian bar or club she could find. After 3 years of long hard searching for her gay soul mate she had a vision of Jasper. Oh...and no one else knows about this but me and you and Alice."

I stared at her with my jaw dropped, wow, Alice lesbian? WAIT ALICE! SHIT!

"SHIT!" I yelled, it's a wonder Charlie didn't come running up the stairs, pshh some chief.

"What is it Bella?!"

"Alice...visions...plans...ruined...us... miserable!" I stuttered.

I kinda zoned out while Rosalie started saying every single cussword she knew vampire speed. ( Which by the way was a lot considering all the languages she knew.)

"WAIT!!" I yelled all of a sudden, "I know how to deal with this!" She gave me a questioning look and her eyes said 'what the hell! don't battle the oh great psychic one!'. "Well you might not like this so much but, this is the only way." She nodded, motioning for me to go on. "Um... well, you know how Alice doesn't get visions when anything has to do with the-"

"I know what your point is and I'm not so sure that's a good idea." Rose cut in.

"Oh come on Rose," I said finally mustering up some courage. (Which once again, I have no idea where the hell it came from! I'm on a role!) "Don't you really want revenge? From all those times that Alice bugged you, every time Edward interrupted your thoughts and invaded your privacy, every time they annoy the hell out of you for a little thing? Are you just gonna let that happen or are you finally going to take care of it like a real women?"

Once again, I am on a role! But, I don't think Edward is going to be so happy that I was talking shit about him...

_Bella don't do this, be a good person. Stop before it's too late!_

**Don't listen to her Bella, you know you want to. Think of all the torture Alice has put you through!**

What the hell?! Am I really going crazy because I'm pretty sure that I heard voices in my head and two mini-me's! One looked like the devil and the other like a angel...Wait why is this so familiar?

_Movies?_

**Movies?**

Crap.

"Bella? BELLA?!"

"Huh?"

"I've been calling your name for about five minutes!" Rose said in a pretty pissed off voice.

"Sorry." I replied sheepishly.

"Anyways I was saying I don't know, I'll think about it. Okay?" She asked.

I nodded and yawned tiredly, too much stuff has happened today, oh so much. I think Rose noticed my tiredness too, because she nodded her head towards the bed.

"Bed time for the humans!" I nodded and glanced at the clock. HOLY SHIT! It was 4:30 in the morning!! Since I already had my jammies on I decided that not brushing for one night would be okay.

"Goodnight Rose..." I muttered sleepily as I started drifting off and her 'say yes, it was a very good one.'

**So what do you think? I decided to give you guys a bit longer chapter since I haven't updated in forever! **

**You know the drill!**

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	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys sorry I haven't updated in a really lonnnnnnnnnnnng time! But I kind of broke my computer and lost everything I wrote on their so yeah. And I just got it fixed so I haven't really had a chance to do anything or remember what I had typed so I must start from scratch.-sigh- But, I will try to get more chapters on, but thanks for cooperating!**

**I DON'T REALLY CARE WHAT YOU GUYS SAY BUT I PERSONALLY THOUGHT THE TWILIGHT MOVIE WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, at least Emmett was really hot...Kristen Stewart did crappy, and Robert Pattinson sounded a little alienated but other than that it was pretty good!**

**Disclaimer: **

**ME: I own Emmett Cullen because he is HOT!!!!!!!!!!!**

**E.C.: WTF DUDE?! Did you just ditch me for my brother?**

**ME: Um, I kind of just did!**

**E.C.: Shit!**

**Emmett: told you all the chicks dig me!**

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**Bella's POV**

I woke up being blinded from the sun,, so I turned around...only to find Rosalie right in my face. as I began to yell WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! I stopped myself and remembered the night before. Crap, I thought that was a bad dream or something.

"Hey Bella!" She chirped happily- wait stop the show!!!!!!!! When is Rosalie EVER happy?

"Hey?" I asked/ responded. (I was still a little freaked out by her being happy and all)

"What time is it?!" I asked still a little groggy.

"Approximately 4 o'clock in the afternoon, I was going to wake you up but I enjoyed your sleep talking quite a bit." I groaned loudly. " Don't worry it wasn't that bad, although you kept yelling at Alice for taking you to a gay club!" I think she was trying to make me feel better, but it just reminded me of that dream...

_Flashback to dream..._

"_Alice where the bloody hell are we????_" _Eww, I have GOT to stop watching Harry Potter._

"_Well..., I'm not so sure but it looked fun in my vision!" She answered happily?_

"_Omg are you kidding me?! MARY ALICE CULLEN TELL ME YOU DID NOT TAKE ME TO A GAY STRIP CLUB?!!!!!!!!!!"_

"_That would probley explain a lot though..."_

"_We have to leave right now! C'mon before anyone sees me!"_

"_Oh my fucking Carlisle! Is that Mike Newton?!!!!!" _

"_Alice we are leaving right now!!!!!!!"_

"_Too late..."_

"_Hey Bella! What are you doing here?! Did you ditch Cullen yet?" He glanced at Alice, "Or did you dump him for his sister?!" That sent him into a fit of giggles._

"_Hello Mike, are you here with Tyler?" Alice responded, I always thought there was more with those two..._

"_Actually I am! But no worries Bella, I have great news...IM BI!"_

_...End of flashback dream _

I shuddered internally.

"Hey Rose, just out of curiosity, is there any gay strip clubs in Washington?" I think that may have caught her off guard a little.

"Umm, I don't think so..." Whew that was close, I think she might keep her distance from now on...

"Well I'm hungry!" I said I my poorly attempted way of trying to change the subject. She still eyed me suspiciously and I gave her a innocent sweet smile.

"Well, do you want to go out to eat since its almost dinnertime?" She asked me also trying to change the subject.

"Sure...how about McDonalds?" Hehe I remember last time I got high off the McFlurry's, good times man, good times!"

"Are you sure?" She asked me like I had just asked to go shopping, well maybe I could toy with her a little while I'm getting high off a McFlurry...

"Yeah, and do you want to go shopping afterwards?"

"Who are you and what the hell did you do to Bella Swan?!" Haha it was working, I am an evil genius...

"Of course! Don't you want Alice dear to be as jealous as possible?" She pondered for a moment then shrugged.

_No._

_**YES!**_

Not again!

"I guess, its not like she won't have a vision about it..."

**Meanwhile at the Cullen residence ...**

**Alice POV **

"Edward can you shut up for about five seconds?!"

I am so blessed to have a brother this annoying! NOT!

He shot me an evil glare, oops my bad!

"Okay I'm getting something...NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

HOW COULD THEY GO SHOPPING WITH OUT ME?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tell you they are evil!!

**Edwards POV **

Why must I have such a melodramatic sister?!

Why does my girlfriend and everyone hate me?!

Why must I be a vampire?

WHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????????????????!

_**Next time on Bella's Revenge...**_

"_**Rosalie why the hell are we out a gay strip club?!!!!!!!! And why the hell is Mike Newton here???!!!!"**_

_**Review for the next Bella's Revenge...**_

**Well, like? love? hate?**

**Well, you know the drill people! **

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**PEACE OUT!**

**MARY**


	11. Chapter 11

**OMG! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING! I LOVE REVIEWS AND YOU GAVE ME A LOT! Happy late Thanksgiving and I decided I would update because of that, even though it already passed! Haha I've been having so much fun being back at school! NOT! but yeah, I've been sick all week long so I didn't get to write really, so yeah. But, enough chit chat and time to get back to the story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight...or Emmett =(.**

**_______________________________________________________________________________________**

BPOV

After we had gone to McDonalds and I had gotten my McFlurry, (Hehe party time!) we decided to go to the mall in Seattle. So, you know, here we are sitting in Rose's convertible the wind blowing in her hair and ruining mine and then we stop. I was still a little drunk on my McFlurry so I started bouncing up and down in my seat not noticing that we weren't at the mall.

"Rosie we here! I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I slurred.

I looked up at the sign of the big building and instead of seeing 'Mall Of Seattle' I saw a big ugly blue sign that said 'Mooners'. I stopped bouncing and looked up at Rose.

"Rosie where we be at?" I asked feeling like a small child.

"This, my dear Bella, is Mooners... this is a little stop I thought we would make in before we hit the mall." Suddenly I felt as if I had been hit by a hammer, and became sober again. Oh no, she knew what I had said in my sleep, but maybe, just maybe she didn't.

_**As if!**_

_Rose is nice she would never do that to you!_

SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"How did you know?!" I hissed in a deadly voice, one I didn't know I owned. I tried to play it safe in case it wasn't what I thought it was

"Dude, you sleep talk so much! In case you didn't notice." She said in a matter of fact-ly voice. I groaned and put my head in my hands.

"C'mon lets go in already! We are wasting precious time!" She dragged me out of the car smirking, and linked arms with me. I let her drag me inside while wondering what the hell I had done to deserve this. We stepped inside and the flashing blue and pink lights suddenly blinded me.

I looked up and saw to my horror it truly was what I though, then I saw something that made the whole ordeal even worse.

"Rosalie why the hell are we out a gay strip club?!!!!!!!! And why the hell is Mike Newton here???!!!!"

She grinned evilly when she heard me get mad but then when she heard Newton's name she frowned.

"Shit, what the hell is he doing here?!" She muttered and I smirked, then frowned when I saw him running towards me.

"Bella! Nice meeting you here! Did you finally dump Cullen? Or are you cheating on him with his sister?! He said/ asked while glancing at Rosalie.

"What are you doing here Newton? Here with Tyler, did you guys finally hook up yet?" I asked coldly.

"Naw man, I'm here to pick up the chicks." He replied nonchalantly. I looked at Rose at the same time she looked at me and we both started cracking up.

"Mike, you do know this is a gay strip club, right?" I asked him while trying not to laugh too hard.

"No duh Bells, but who wouldn't go straight for me? Watch this!" He replied then walked up to two girls that were giggling and feeding each other grapes. He grabbed one of their hands and I heard him faintly say,

"...now I can tell my friends I touched an angel!" **(Haha I know lame, but Caleb and Clara came up with it!)**

The chick slapped him, and the other one started yelling at him. He walked backed to me and Rosalie cussing under his breath while we tried to smother our giggles.

This would be one hell of a night! But with Mike Newton, anything could happen...

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**Sorry it's so short but like I said I was sick so yeah.**

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**MARY **


	12. Chapter 12

**HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, okay I'm oh so very sorry for not updating in like years but I have more decent reasons. I was still sick so that didn't really help. Also I've written a new story called Life At Bradford Academy. And I've had really bad writers block with this story! Sorry the last chapter was kinda pointless...but so on with the story!!!!!!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own nothing!**

**EPOV**

I saw Alice's vision about Newton in the gay strip club and doubled over laughing. Hahahaha I'm not a big fan of Rose, but sometimes she makes life so much more interesting. Plus, Newton is a dumbass so it just made things even better...

**BPOV**

Rose and me ran out of the club clutching out stomach. I seriously thought that we would die from laughing so hard- wait, stupid 'I don't need to breath' vampires! We decided that we could still have time to hit the mall, just to torture Alice. Haha, I can see her clearly sitting oh-so-peacefully having a vision and screaming in terror. Haha I'm evil.

**APOV**

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! WHY MUST THEY TORTURE ME??????????????????

**BPOV**

So here we were at the mall, after Rose tried-and failed- to get me to go in to Victoria Secret for thirty minutes.

_Flashback to thirty minutes ago..._

"_No Rose, absolutely not! I will not go to that store!" _

"_Bella, but think of poor Eddie! You don't want to dress up for him?"_

"_Um, hello Rose but last time I checked we were supposed to be plotting against him!"_

"_But Bella! Fine, I just need a few things for the activities Emmett and I do..." AHHHH! MENTAL RAPE MENTAL RAPE MENTAL RAPE!!!!!!!!_

"_TMI ROSE, TOO MUCH INFORMATION!" She smirked at me and begin walk to the store and turned to see if I was following her. Tough cookies hun, but I don't give up that easily._

_Twenty minutes later..._

"_Rose I refuse I refuse I refuse!!!!!!!!!!!"_

"_But Bella!!!"_

_Twenty-five minutes later..._

"_I won't go in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

"_Fine!!!!!!!!!!!"_

_...Back to present..._

So here we were, walking around in the mall then I saw a familiar dark head. Well what do you know? It was Jacob , hmm just the person I was looking for...

"Jacob!!!!!!" I called out, and Rose turned to me with her eyes wide.

"What are you doing?" She hissed, wow scary much Rose?

"I'm trying to get Jacob's attention. Duh!" I said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Hehe, I like messing with people. Anyways, Jacob turned around and his face lit up when he saw me.

"Hey Bells! What are you doing here? Did the pixie drag you here?" He asked laughing.

"Haha, no. I'm here with Rose, let's just say that we are trying to get payback on Alice. And, this is where you come in handy."

"Wow, your finally giving me permission to rip off her head?! I thought I'd never see the day..." He joked...or was he serious?

"No, I need you to stick around to block dearest Alice's visions." I saw him sigh and run his hands through his long hair. Crap, this was going to be hard. "Please Jake?!" I pouted and he gave in.

"Fine, but what's in it for me?"

"Well, let's just say that Edward is going to need a new paintjob on his precious Volvo... Want to choose the color?" I said slightly smirking, oh how I love my soon to be husband. JAke pondered for a minute.

"Fine but only if we get to write this message on his car." And he leaned in to tell me... "Spray paint on..."

**RPOV**

OH MY FREAKING CARLISLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was pretty damn lucky I had super vampire hearing or I may not have been able to catch that bit of information... who knows? Maybe adding a werewolf to the gang won't be such a bad thing. Unless he calls me blondie, then he's dead meat...

**APOV**

_SO they were at the mall... walking around. Who is that Bella is seeing no my vision is gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

NOOOOOOOOOO! THEY BROUGHT IN THE MUTTS! HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**EPOV**

NOOOOOOOOOO! HOW CAN I SPY ON HER?! MY PRECIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**JAKEPOV**

HA! I'm a genius, Cullen won't know what hit him! Haha Bella will come running back to me once again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay. Maybe not, that was a little Mike Newton-ish right there so never mind...

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**Sorry it was a short chapter but I wanted to stick something up for the New Year and I still had writers block so it turned up screw-ish. haha but oh well at least I got something up. so what do you think that Jake has in mind for little Eddie poo? Haha yes I am evil! Now you know the drill! **

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**MARY**


	13. Chapter 13

Hey guys sorry I haven't updated in FOREVER but trust me I will try my best on both my stories now that it's been summer so please don't kill me! I'm trying!


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